Why Don't We Win Eurovision?

So, the UK has picked yet another another naff song as our entry for the Eurovision Song Contest. Is it any surprise we never win? Why on earth don't we pick a better song and bring the trophy back home?

Truth is, the BBC does not want to win!

It costs something like £40m to host the ESC, money which the BBC cant afford. This is in addition to the money we already pay to be in the European Broadcasting Union and the extra fees we pay to get an automatic place in the final. 

Azerbijan shelled out £47m on hosting after their victory in 2011. The plan was that it'd help their tourist industry but once the dust settled they realised it had only brought in an additional £7m.

If the UK won then they'd have to go cap-in-hand to the government and ask it for a hand out. There'd be uproar when there are so many good causes hard up for cash. The result is the Beeb are always entering OK-but-a-bit-rubbish songs because we want to lose but not make it obvious that we're throwing the race!

Many people believe we do poorly because the rest of Europe hates us. Just look at our choice of entries over recent years and you'll realise our neighbours have probably got it spot on.

I mean, if the EU nations *really* wanted to screw us over, all they'd have to do is vote for us to win the European Song Contest!